David and I will be celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary this year, and 31 years together as a couple. So as far as relationships go, I think it's pretty safe to say that we have a "good relationship." It hasn't been always smooth sailing -- and the "good relationships" I know of got that way because they worked through their tough times. So what's the magic formula? Tough question, and I doubt there's any one good answer. From my perspective, I think it's to be as as healthy an individual as possible. For one, I mean never expecting David to change for my sake, and never expecting him to fill an emotional void in me that only I can realistically address (e.g. self-esteem). In all the ways that I need to be strong in my own right, I can't expect him to prop me up. On the flip side, I have lots of love and support to give him, and do so freely. It's a partnership of two people who can stand up on their own, but support each other fully and willingly.
That's not to say that one of us won't go through our tough times and need more support than usual. We've traded off through the years where one is doing more of the supporting than the other, helping him/her to get through it. That's the give and take of a long-term partnership.
Of all the comments I've read above, I think I agree with them all except for one. A long-term relationship isn't going to always be easy-going and stress-free. That's unrealistic. But when two people are fundamentally committed to working their difficulties through, THAT'S what makes it last.
It's kinda like mixing a drink. Part 1: You. You have to be happy with yourself, and know yourself. Would you want to date you? Part 2: The better half. I think that there should be some level of commonality, but being identical is too far. Both sides should take interest and be supportive of the other. Most of all, your partner should inspire you to be a better person; they should be your better half. While relationships aren't all wonderful, fairytale moments, there should be more good times than bad times. At the start and end of the day, you should feel happiness that you are with this other person.
Sex and the City may have said it best. There may not be that one perfect person and instead a number of good friends who fulfill who you are.
David and I will be celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary this year, and 31 years together as a couple. So as far as relationships go, I think it's pretty safe to say that we have a "good relationship." It hasn't been always smooth sailing -- and the "good relationships" I know of got that way because they worked through their tough times. So what's the magic formula? Tough question, and I doubt there's any one good answer. From my perspective, I think it's to be as as healthy an individual as possible. For one, I mean never expecting David to change for my sake, and never expecting him to fill an emotional void in me that only I can realistically address (e.g. self-esteem). In all the ways that I need to be strong in my own right, I can't expect him to prop me up. On the flip side, I have lots of love and support to give him, and do so freely. It's a partnership of two people who can stand up on their own, but support each other fully and willingly.
ReplyDeleteThat's not to say that one of us won't go through our tough times and need more support than usual. We've traded off through the years where one is doing more of the supporting than the other, helping him/her to get through it. That's the give and take of a long-term partnership.
Of all the comments I've read above, I think I agree with them all except for one. A long-term relationship isn't going to always be easy-going and stress-free. That's unrealistic. But when two people are fundamentally committed to working their difficulties through, THAT'S what makes it last.
It's kinda like mixing a drink. Part 1: You. You have to be happy with yourself, and know yourself. Would you want to date you? Part 2: The better half. I think that there should be some level of commonality, but being identical is too far. Both sides should take interest and be supportive of the other. Most of all, your partner should inspire you to be a better person; they should be your better half. While relationships aren't all wonderful, fairytale moments, there should be more good times than bad times. At the start and end of the day, you should feel happiness that you are with this other person.
ReplyDeleteSex and the City may have said it best. There may not be that one perfect person and instead a number of good friends who fulfill who you are.